1. Do not sneak out of bed and colour on your mothers face with black permanent marker then sneak back into bed so your mom has no idea of what you have done. It takes WAY to long to wash this off, but with a little nail polish remover (make sure not to get any in your eye..it stings) and a good face scrubber an hour later its okay to go out in public...
2. No pooping in the bath tub..... I do not like cleaning it out and need to re-do on giving you your bath.
3. While we are on the "poop" topic there are few things you should know. It is not paint, shampoo, or candy. Please do not smear it everywhere, rub it in your hair or try to eat it.... this is all very gross.
4. No running with tables.... when you are running full force with a TV tray and heading straight for your dad's new TV... it hurts you and makes daddy cry.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Friday, October 23, 2009
A Birthing Story
yes it has been awhile but i have been busy with having another baby and such, here's how the little angle made her appearance....
it was around 6 am when i got up to go get baby number 3 from bed because she hasn't been wanting to sleep in her own bed for about a week (by the way its been over a month now and she still refuses to sleep in her own bed, but that's not the story right now..) as i was talking to her i began to feel a little consistent cramping so i notified my loving husband that we were going to have the baby today.. he said "okay you get baby number one ready for school and feed the other kids breakfast, i still need sleep" ummm okay lazy ass... (he got up). so contractions were nothing and i figured i had all day... ummm wrong 9 am came along and i decided it was time to get my but in gear and get ready to go to the hospital... husband got home from dropping the oldest off at school and called his mother to come pick up baby number 2 and 3. i went to run my bath water and just as i was about to get undressed contractions got so intense i had to crouch over to feel comfortable. SO i pull the damn plug and as im angerly mumbling to myself not very nice things to my body... i tell husband to get his darn shoes on and head for the car... at 1030 we are at the hospital and they hook me up to a monitor to check my contractions.... so far so good, no pain just pressure..they make me wait until 1130 before they check to see how far dilated i am, at this point my damn body is pushing on its own (i hate this!!!) so they say im 7 and ask if i want drugs... HELL YES, im not in pain but it helps with the body pushing on its own. so they hook me to an iv drip thingy(which takes 3 tries, and my wrist was badly bruised for almost 3 weeks) well i have a contraction and i go quietly too my husband "i think i just peed" he laughs ridiculously loud... umm its not funny... next contraction a little more pee.... thank goodness for my pride it was actually my water braking. 1150 the bitch nurse tells me im 9 and i cant have drugs... i start to cry.....they move me to a delivery room. 1220 im pushing......and im screaming.... and im not in pain.... but im screaming like a crazy lady....like i should be admitted crazy lady screaming.. still not in pain....i have no idea whats going on cuz im screaming so much.... shoulders get stuck... they tell me to stop pushing, okay thats alot easier said then done, as they are pushing and pulling to get baby out still no pain really just pressure and this odd pulling like tugging on skin. okay shoulders are lose im back to screaming like a crazy person... woo hoo its 1228 and baby is out of there!! so im no longer screaming, but begin to actually cry, not due to happiness but because someone set my vagina on fire... and then they need to stick there hands up there!!! time for placenta which is an experience on its own. doc is telling my to push and im asking to just keep it in. being a psycho and scaring everyone on the floor with my unneeded "im being butchered" screams is REALLY tiring. so doc seems to be getting frustrated with me (hell i would too) so i gathered all the energy i had and i pushed with everything i had (more effort then actual child birth) and bam that sucker comes flying out along with crap loads of blood right in the direction of doctors face.. HA HA!!!! i actually feel a little bad about that... 1pm little baby is in my arms and im in my room. woohoo!!!!
it was around 6 am when i got up to go get baby number 3 from bed because she hasn't been wanting to sleep in her own bed for about a week (by the way its been over a month now and she still refuses to sleep in her own bed, but that's not the story right now..) as i was talking to her i began to feel a little consistent cramping so i notified my loving husband that we were going to have the baby today.. he said "okay you get baby number one ready for school and feed the other kids breakfast, i still need sleep" ummm okay lazy ass... (he got up). so contractions were nothing and i figured i had all day... ummm wrong 9 am came along and i decided it was time to get my but in gear and get ready to go to the hospital... husband got home from dropping the oldest off at school and called his mother to come pick up baby number 2 and 3. i went to run my bath water and just as i was about to get undressed contractions got so intense i had to crouch over to feel comfortable. SO i pull the damn plug and as im angerly mumbling to myself not very nice things to my body... i tell husband to get his darn shoes on and head for the car... at 1030 we are at the hospital and they hook me up to a monitor to check my contractions.... so far so good, no pain just pressure..they make me wait until 1130 before they check to see how far dilated i am, at this point my damn body is pushing on its own (i hate this!!!) so they say im 7 and ask if i want drugs... HELL YES, im not in pain but it helps with the body pushing on its own. so they hook me to an iv drip thingy(which takes 3 tries, and my wrist was badly bruised for almost 3 weeks) well i have a contraction and i go quietly too my husband "i think i just peed" he laughs ridiculously loud... umm its not funny... next contraction a little more pee.... thank goodness for my pride it was actually my water braking. 1150 the bitch nurse tells me im 9 and i cant have drugs... i start to cry.....they move me to a delivery room. 1220 im pushing......and im screaming.... and im not in pain.... but im screaming like a crazy lady....like i should be admitted crazy lady screaming.. still not in pain....i have no idea whats going on cuz im screaming so much.... shoulders get stuck... they tell me to stop pushing, okay thats alot easier said then done, as they are pushing and pulling to get baby out still no pain really just pressure and this odd pulling like tugging on skin. okay shoulders are lose im back to screaming like a crazy person... woo hoo its 1228 and baby is out of there!! so im no longer screaming, but begin to actually cry, not due to happiness but because someone set my vagina on fire... and then they need to stick there hands up there!!! time for placenta which is an experience on its own. doc is telling my to push and im asking to just keep it in. being a psycho and scaring everyone on the floor with my unneeded "im being butchered" screams is REALLY tiring. so doc seems to be getting frustrated with me (hell i would too) so i gathered all the energy i had and i pushed with everything i had (more effort then actual child birth) and bam that sucker comes flying out along with crap loads of blood right in the direction of doctors face.. HA HA!!!! i actually feel a little bad about that... 1pm little baby is in my arms and im in my room. woohoo!!!!
Friday, September 11, 2009
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